We’ve all seen that little kid who melts down over their sandwich being cut at a diagonal, or receiving a red apple instead of a green one.
For toddlers, not getting what they want can most certainly be a dramatic event. As we get older, most of us learn how to differentiate between a high-impact thing and a low-impact thing, which means we no longer freak out about the cut of our sandwich, or if the server accidentally allowed a tomato slice to get in there, despite a request to the contrary. Maturity helps us to learn and accept that we can simply remove the tomato ourselves and go on about having a pleasant lunch.
But what about those disappointments we perceive as high-impact?
What about when we don’t get the job we want?
Or a person we desire to become close to rejects us?
What happens when we’ve been hoping for a miracle and none appears?
How we respond matters more than what the disappointment is
It occurs to me that of all the habits, behaviors and ways of thinking that we could possibly discuss, the one about what happens when we don’t get what we want may be the most critical.
Because what happens when we don’t get something that we really want?
Do we suffer?
Do we become angry or withdrawn?
How does our reaction impact people around us?
And to the extent that we respond negatively and it does impact those around us, how does that affect our future options, and the chances of getting or not getting other things that we want?
If you’re reading this right now, I trust you already know that adopting an attitude of gratitude can help you in your life.
I trust you already know that by assuming positive intent of others, more will do the same for you, and that the painful moments which all of us face in life will be lessened through the absence of judgement.
And yet, when you are IN that moment, facing rejection and disappointment head-on, how do you respond? What do you tell yourself? How do you help yourself through the discomfort?
Three keys to moving forward through disappointment
Remember these things, and you will move through more quickly:
Every disappointment is an opportunity for learning. Ask yourself: Where is the gold in this moment? What am I learning that will help me in the future?
Suffering does not come from pain. Suffering comes from our resistance to reality. Stop resisting. Accept, learn and move forward.
There is much more to the universe than what we see of it. This pain or disappointment could very easily be a part of the groundwork for some future opportunity. Allow yourself to be curious about what beautiful place you may ultimately end up, as a result of moving through this.
And of course, it goes without saying:
Sandwiches should NEVER be cut on the diagonal. 😉
What do YOU do or tell yourself in order to move through disappointment? Connect with me on social media to share!